In life, especially in parenting, there are a lot of moments when you look back and think, “Oh my gosh....I thought that phase was a challenge?”, because youʼve realized that whatʼs next is not going to be any easier. My first real experience with this was when I had my second son. I knew that having a baby was a lot of work. You have to feed them, like, all the time. And their diapers.....thereʼs a lot of diapers. And they smell really bad. But I felt like I had done a decent job of mastering basic parenting skills, and I actually was dumb enough to think that adding a second baby into the mix was going to be a piece of cake. Obviously, I was waaaaay wrong. Having a toddler and an infant presented a whole new set of challenges that I had totally not anticipated. Definitely not a piece of cake, to say the least. That was the first time I ever felt completely unprepared for what was to come, because I had severely underestimated the complexity of the task at hand....my first OMG moment.
My latest OMG moment was when I contemplated signing up my oldest son (who has celiac) for church camp. I thought it was a great idea, and would be a lot of fun. But them I remembered that he would be there for three full days, and Iʼd have to check out the menu and see what he could and couldnʼt eat. I (stupidly) thought it would be an easy few fixes, like maybe packing some gluten free cereal and some GF bread. We go to a pretty big church, so I assumed that they had probably dealt with sending kids with food allergies or intolerances to sleep away camp. I sent an email to the church office and explained the situation and asked if it would be possible to get an advance copy of the menu to see what items I would need to sub out. I was absolutely shocked when I received their reply....they had no idea what I should do. They had no idea what the menu was and they werenʼt sure if there even was an advance menu. They suggested that I call the organization that runs the camp, and that maybe I could pack a cooler of acceptable food for my son. Or I could volunteer to be a camp counselor so I could be there to examine each item as it was served.
Well, this might make me a really bad parent, but I completely threw in the towel. I still havenʼt called the organization, and I havenʼt talked to my son about what he wants todo. I think its because I am still just so shocked. Weʼve been gluten free for a little over two years now, its become our normal. We know how to make killer GF cupcakes, and we know which pizza and sushi places have the best gluten free menus. I thought we had it down pat....and we do, in our controlled family setting. I thought we had won the battle, unaware of all the challenges that we have yet to face.
My son is nine now. Heʼs old enough to decide if he wants to go to church camp with a cooler full of gluten free food. Pain in the butt, yes. Unachievable....probably not. However, this experience really made me think about a whole new world of “what ifs”.What if he wants to eat dinner over a friendʼs house, and then realizes he canʼt eat what his friendʼs parents are making? What if heʼs hanging out with his friends and they all order pizza? Will he order his own, or cave to peer pressure? What will I do when my son wants to go to a party, but heʼs not quite old enough to drink? He wonʼt be able to drink from the tasty keg of Keystone that everyone else will be tapping. Will I be able to trust him not to? Or will I wind up being the mom that sends her kid to a party with his own six pack? And college.....thatʼs something I really canʼt even wrap my head around. Maybe by that point in time, more schools will have gluten free food menus, but otherwise, heʼs going to have to know how to cook for himself.
Helping a 7 year old to embrace a gluten free lifestyle was difficult....but Iʼm realizing that once again, I am completely unprepared for the challenges that lie ahead.Unfortunately, I donʼt have any friends with older children or teenagers who are gluten free. We have a lot of family members and friends who have experience with celiac andthe lifestyle changes that it involves, but none of them were diagnosed until adulthood.
Maybe some of you reading this have older children, or maybe even are older teens. I would love to hear what situations you found most difficult, and how you dealt with them.
Because, oh my gosh.....Iʼm gonna need all the help I can get!
GF Mommy Hilary
Tara says
While I have been GF for over 2 years, my 11 y/o son & 9 y/o daughter have been GF for about a year. Both are very good about reading labels and not eating food that is not GF or food that is questionable. If they are over at a friends, or out with friends, they know what they can order and I have found that the other parents are really helpful & accepting of them having to eat at certain places (their friends too). As far as sleeping away from home goes, we have been quite fortunate. 1 week was for outdoor education for school, they sent me a menu, I crossed of what my son could not have & also spoke w/the head chef who was quite knowledgable w/GF needs. I sent a bagful of food to replace what I had crossed of (cereal, cookies, frozen meals for when it was pasta night, etc.). My son is also a Boy Scout and the troop has embraced GF cooking. I said I was happy to send him w/his own food, but the leader said "No, this is a chance for the boys to learn and adapt to another way of cooking". Since they do quite a bit of camping, it's nice not to have to worry. The Boy Scout sleep away camp is also GF friendly. And as far as the rebelious teen years, they may come. I have a couple GF friends who would cheat in their younger years, but I'm not so sure my kids will, or will get away with it. My son will get a migraine and my daughter if she is lucky will throw up, if not her tummy will be hurting for days...it's not worth it to cheat. We are also extremely fortunate to live in the SF Bay Area where we have access to lots of GF products & GF friendly restaurants.
Diana says
The organization running the camp might actually have really great substitutes or ideas. If it's not run by the individual camp, then they probably have dealt with it more often , then if the church were doing the cooking itself. They probably need to know if there are food allergies or issues - other than the picky eater one that we all know and experience at sometime or another.
Colleges have gluten free and other choices, but it will be up to your kid to stick to the choices. They'll hate the dorm food, no matter what. It's like a rite of passage, no one's food is as good as mom's, but know that even though they hate the food, there are choices available for gluten free, vegetarian and even vegan. No matter what though, they get bored of the food. Then they move into their own house, need to cook their own food, and wish they lived in their dorm, and could just run down and pick up the pre-cooked stuff in the dorm cafeteria. Ask me how I know .... both kids are college age.
Marie says
Hilary,
I can fully relate to your situation. My son is 13 and a First Class Boy Scout. We have been camping his whole life. I have pictures of him "fishing" at a month old. We have been involved in Scouts for 7 years and GF for 6. It was tough for a while until I figured out the how to's. the first couple of years we would take our own food. Then as a group we started looking at how we can change a few items and methods and then we can cook and eat as a group. We have attended camp-outs/group vacations ranging in one night to three three weeks. I am blessed with some amazing friends. We have attended 4 camps where some one else was in charge of the food. Two of the camps we took our food and I was able to go in and microwave our meals. Two camps that were week long camps we talked with camp director and we enjoyed good GF Food. This years conversation with the camp director was different than the others, the advice of bring all your own food and not sure what kitchen access you will have. And You can figure it out when you get here. There was more than 500 miles from familiar. I am not one to shy a way from a challenge but I was diagnosed with stage 0 breast cancer in December. I was not able to work much during treatment and had started my job just 10 days before my diagnoses. So the idea of buying enough food for both of us for 8 days and not knowing what if any kitchen access it just overwhelmed me. We decided not to go. it was a good thing. the week before camp I was diagnosed with Lymphedema.
What I am trying to say is that some camps are staffed with people that will figure how to feed your son. Some will not.
If your son knows what eating gluten feels like and would prefer to not feel that way he will be smart about what he eats. My son reads labels and is very careful. Yes he still eats things that are not the best for him. Asked about the trip home from a camp out where they had stopped at a gas station what did you get? I know the station and they have fresh fruit. He proudly stated Coke and a Butterfinger, they are both safe. Gluten free yes, good for you, no.
If you do not feel that the camp will be accommodating to a level he can handle, then don't send him. Write them a letter stating your concern. They can't fix what they don't know is broken.
Love your blog/site keep up the good work.
Marie Edwards