Deep Breaths

I believe in hot and sweaty summer nights and crickets and sundresses and warm breezes

I believe in the under dog. They are usually almost always absolutely my favorite

I believe music makes little teeny tiny band aids that find the hurt and make it a little better

I believe good things come to those who don't wait... Or who wait a really really really really ridiculously really long time

I believe retail therapy actually kind of works on the little things...but it's expensive

I believe running and God kinda actually works on the big things...and they're free...funny

I think if I was an apple I would be an extra large fuji...what about you?

I believe in the power of taking deep breaths... take one now- good right?

My first friend in Fresno taught me a lesson... She reminded me that my life lesson # 284 is still an important one for me- It is better to be alone than to be with someone who sucks. We were not a good match- but I didn't know a soul and I thought it was better to spend time with her than to be alone. I thought having kids in common was enough. Wrong on both fronts... You are what you eat and you are who you hang out with. Don't hang out with sucky people unless you want to be sucky too.

And the realization of Parker's Super Powers cut through the clutter of my Life in Friendship again. What I need in a Friend became highly evident. No drama. No excuses. I prefer to have a handful of truth telling, authentic, fun, perfectly flawed, respectfully opinionated, happy more often than not, ready to show up in a second -friends. The older I get the more I find people like me.

My boys are helping me redefine everything. Prettiest used to be perfectly put together...now I think pretty is strong, different...downright breathtaking...

I used to think winning meant you were the fastest or the best... Now winning is trying really stinking hard...not giving up... More than one person can win at a time too.

I used to think IQ was intelligence quota... But I've met plenty of smart stupid people. I think intelligence is how you handle human beings and what you give to the World and the people around you. Intelligence is a perfect yet honest blend of integrity and humble and kindness and knowledge.

I used to think strong meant you don't crack- and if you did- you keep it private. I couldn't have been more wrong. Strong is the freedom to be exactly who you are. Strong is screwing up and not hiding it... Strong is screwing up and trying again...and again and again and again. Sometimes strong is putting two feet on the floor and getting out of bed in the morning and choosing to trying again...

People may wonder- how can you hate autism yet say there is beauty inside?...and it's those very lessons that make me grateful that I can see life the same yet in a completely different way.

One thing I hate about autism is food aversion...It's like extreme pickiness. Not toddler picky- compulsively picky. Greyson's diet is already limited since he can not have dairy, soy or gluten... If he had it his way he would eat hot dogs and chips all day. I have to consistently remember to rotate foods he likes into his diet or he will suddenly refuse to eat them. If he hasn't had something for a few weeks- getting him to try it is sometimes like starting over from scratch.

I hate this picture. It makes me sad. Greyson wouldn't eat the gluten free soft pretzel I made. Theoretically, I know he would love them- but he hasn't had one in a long time and he doesn't remember. They don't have an unusual color or texture (two red flags for him)- but still he didn't want to eat it. When that happens Michael or I make him eat one bite before he can have anything else. Sometimes it's a battle I mentally can't handle. I get so mad...so frustrated...sometimes I just lose it... I have to remember to breathe deep.

Thankfully Doodle loved his...

He carried it around forever... Happy...

Remember my- CAN I GET 30 MINUTES!?!!! Night the other night? My child was returned to me with this scab on his face...I guess it gives him street cred.

My full time job started this morning at 5:50am... It started crying and wouldn't stop... I took Parker and put him in the playroom and laid back down. Three minutes later he was banging on my arm- so he could give me some bubbles to blow for him... I took the bubbles and threw them. Poor Parker...